Love lives on
by ashford73
Summary: Spencer finds love in the most inconvenient places...  Re-post
1. Chapter 1

**Okay so i posted this before but it was hard to read because of the format so i am reposting it and breaking it up a little more so it is easier to read. I can understand if some of you don't agree with the themes here so if you don't then don't read it (:**

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><p>God she is gorgeous, I almost can't take my eyes off of her but I don't want my wife or family to think I am checking out another girl, let alone a 17 year old one.<p>

She is in black from head to toe; her hair black as night with sexy blue streaks going through it, she was wearing a small black sundress and black flat strapped sandals, her make-up and nail polish were deep black was as pale as a ghost and the only color on her besides black and blue was her beautiful emerald eyes and her puffy red cheeks from all the crying she had been doing plus I think she was high. I could see the mascara running down her face as she shied away from her father and step mother, all I wanted to do was walk over there and wipe away all her tears then hold her as tight as I held Ashley that last night after our high school graduation.

I don't know if it is because I miss Ashley so much or because I am so tired of Bette right now, but I cannot stop my body from reacting in ways it should not for the daughter of my first true love. People keep walking up to her rubbing her back and telling her how sorry they are about her mother passing, she just nods her head and dismisses them. I see her stepmother starts to say something when Jamie jumps up from her chair and runs upstairs, to her room most likely. I don't know if lust is calling me to her room or just the motherly instinct I have but I excuse myself from my wife and other guests as I pretend to go to the bathroom, everyone lets me go with a sympathetic nod because they know how dear Ashley was to me.

I make my way up the stairs and look through all the doors to find Jamie's. I finally find a door that is painted blue with small green stars on it and a bunch of stickers and the name JAMIE written in big sweet script. I tap gently on the door and she says go away through her sobs. But of course me being the type of person I am, I do not go away. I open the door quietly and step into her room closing the door behind me. I take a moment to look around the hug room and admire the posters and hand painted drawing on the walls.

I saw pictures of her and cute girls – in some she was kissing them- like mother like daughter I smiled and it got wider when I saw one of her and Ashley on a motorcycle. Jamie looked about five and Ashley looked like the happiest person alive.

"Did I say you could come in?" I was brought out of my picture walk by her abrupt and apparently pissed off tone

"I…I'm sorry I didn't mean to intrude, it's just I saw you crying downstairs and couldn't help but follow you" she used a napkin to wipe her eyes and looked at me for what appeared to be the first time she did, because her mouth opened slightly and she gazed at me body for what seemed like eternity.

"Who are you?" this question was calmer and her voice didn't seemed as strained as it was before

"my name is Spencer Carlin, I was….a really good friend of your mothers back in high school, I just found out she had a daughter today" I said this with a sad chuckle as a tear rolled down my cheek.

"Spencer…" she said my name though she was in a daze, but suddenly she snapped out of it. "Spencer! Yea I know you, you're the girl form all the videos, you and mom were…lovers? ...She caught me watching a tape of the two of you kissing and talking in her old room and she got mad at me and cried after she sent me to my room"

I sat down at her bed interested and wanted to hear more. Ashley kept all those videos? She cried for me? Did she still love me? Jamie looked at me as though asking whether she should go on or not, I nodded for her to continue.

"she told me you were her first love and that no one had ever made her feel as safe as she did in your arms, she said that whenever you held her all the hurt and emptiness inside of her went away and she felt alive again. I asked her why you two broke up and she told me it was time for her to be strong and you had to help someone else feel alive"

I was crying be the time she finished her story and she was choking back tears too, I wanted to jump her right there, god what is wrong with me? Is it even possible to feel all these emotions at once? Love, passion, hurt, cold, warm and horny. I actually wanted to have sex while I was crying and talking to my former lover's 17 year old daughter, god I'm sick.

I was about to tell her I should go when she looked up at me from between her jet black hair "c…can you hold me like you held her? I feel empty and alone. I don't feel like just the women that gave me birth died, I feel like a part of me just died, my best friend and the only person I ever truly loved in the world has just died."

I looked at her and listened to her because I understood, I felt the same way. Sure I love Bette but nearly as much as I loved Ashley and not nearly as much as I want to love this beautiful creature in front of me right now. "I know…I know how you feel because I feel the same way, I thought I got over your mother years ago but the truth is was still in love with her and I wish she was here right now so that I could tell her how I feel. I would love to hold you because to be honest when I saw you downstairs through the crowd the first thing I wanted to do was run to you and hold you as tight as possible even though I didn't even know who you were."

I put my hand over hers and felt my heart jump; I looked deep into her beautiful eyes then leaned forward and kissed her wonderful pink lips. As soon as my lips touched hers I felt as if I was just shocked by lightning, like a light bulb just flicked on over my head; like everything in this world suddenly made sense. She moved closer to me till she was practically on my lap and I held her like I wanted to while she cried and kissed my collar bone. Oh God, she smells like vanilla and strawberries

...Just like Ashley did


	2. Chapter 2

Bette wanted to go back to Ohio as soon as the funeral was done but I stalled for a couple of days while we stood at my mother's house.

I can't leave Jamie, not now when we need each other the most.

"Bette look I really think I should stay here to grieve with my family and friends, you go back tonight and take care of the boys for a few days I'll be home soon I just need….some space" I tell her this as I look out my mother's kitchen window thinking of all the times I watched Ashley pull into the driveway through this window.

"Space? Why do you need space Spencer? I know she was your first love and best friend but you haven't talked to her for years…" her painful truth brought tears to my eyes and I looked at her as if she just gave me the harshest insult in the book.

"Just go Bette I need to think about things…about life and love. I just need some time on my own here in L.A"

I actually almost believed me, now that I think about it I do need all these things but most importantly I need Bette to leave so I could be truly alone with Jamie so we can grieve together. I've been sneaking out around 12 every night after Bette goes to bed; I take cab so I don't make noise and so no one will notice the car missing. Me and Jamie meet at mine and Ashley's spot under the pier.

The first night we met there I told her stories of me and her mother, we laughed and joked around holding each other closely and when it was time to leave she asked me for a kiss that soon turned into a make-out session in my car.

The second night we didn't talk about Ashley we almost didn't talk at all. I got there before her and sat staring at the familiar California waves, as soon as I heard Jamie's footsteps in the sand I smiled and turned to face her. She tried to smile a bit to but I could tell she wasn't in the smiling mood. She plopped down next to me and kissed my cheek, I was about to ask her what's wrong but then she pulled a little baggie..

"what the hell? What are you doing with that Jamie?"

she didn't even look at me as she rolled up a blunt and answered me "oh come on mom told me she used to smoke so don't go acting like you haven't done it before either. I just want to forget about things for awhile so do this with me, please Spencey..."

I wanted to tell her no, she was too young for this stuff but then again she was too young for me.

So instead I just nodded and took hits with her like a pro. Once she was out of weed, and we were as mellow as the high could get us, we started to giggle and move closer to each other. We were lying next to each other in the sand when suddenly she looked at me and bit her lip.

I knew what she wanted, I wanted it too. I leaned over and kissed her softly then moved swiftly on top of her. After that, there was no more talking, no more giggling, just me and her. I slipped my tongue into her hot wet mouth and moved it around vigorously; she moaned and slipped her hands around my waist so that she was gripping my ass. I grinded into her deeply, wanting to feel her in so many ways.

"Wait Spencer stop" as soon as the words left her lips I panicked, did she not want this? It was morally wrong in many ways but I though she wanted me anyways.

"What is it baby? Did I do something wrong?" she shook her head and rolled us over so that she was sitting up straddling me, she took off her t-shirt in one quick breath and practically ripped mine off too, then we went back to kissing.

After 5 minutes we were completely naked. Intertwining and grinding our bodies into one another and moaning each other's names. My lips felt cold when she left them to warm up the rest of my body as she made her way down, she stopped once she reached my soaking wet pussy and kissed it tenderly. I gasped when I suddenly felt her tongue plunge deep into my hole and I moaned so loud I'm sure the beach shop owners heard me. My hips lifted off of the sand as I humped her face as fast and hard as I could, I swear I almost cried when she moved away from my sweet spot and moved up to kiss me. Sure I love kissing her but right then I needed to cum, and judging by the look on her face – so did she. I trailed my hand down her well toned body and slipped one finger inside her but I soon realized she could take more so I added a second one. She was moaning my name and it seemed like she was so far gone she wouldn't be able to move but then I felt her entering me with two fingers. We both trusted in and out of each other hard and fast, panting and moaning. Then I felt it, I was going to cum. Hard. I haven't had an orgasm since me and Bette went to Paris and had sex in an elevator and that was awhile ago. I didn't want to let go till Jamie was ready too but as soon as she gasped and shut her eyes I knew it was time. "Oh ASHLEEEEY!" I screamed as I fell into complete and utter bliss. Jamie didn't seem to notice since she was far too caught up in ecstasy from her climax. I just lied there sweaty and sandy, breathing hard as Jamie lay on my stomach rubbing against me and muttering "Don't let go, please don't let go…" I held her till 6am when we had to get up and go home.

"Spencer! Jesus it's like you're living in another world sometimes, listen I'm going back tonight and I strongly recommend you come too but if you don't, you better be boarding a plane in a week." With that she grabbed her car keys and went up to my room to pack her bags.

I know I should feel bad right now, I should get on that plane with my wife and go see my sons. But I just can't, I can't leave Jamie. Just being away from her makes me crazy and when I'm with her, god when I'm with her everything is perfect.

I'm going to see her tonight, but this time it will be different since we're actually going out. Her father and stepmother went away on a cruise (assholes) and now that Bette is leaving there really isn't anyone we should worry about. I'm going to pick her up at her house and we can go have dinner or something, I honestly don't care as long as we're together.

"Spencer dear, where is Bette going" my father looks almost the same as he did years ago but you can see the age in his skin and hair now, he's the same caring person as always though.

"She is going back home to Ohio daddy, I'll join her in a week or so but for now I think its best that I stay here."

He gives me a look and motions me to sit down "sweetheart listen, I know you loved Ashley but that was a long time ago. You shouldn't be taking this so hard"

I felt like telling him about Jamie and how much I need her. "Dad look it's not only about loving her it's just, have you met her daughter?"

his eyebrows tweaked up "Jamie? What about her?"

just then Bette comes down the stairs "hey Arthur can you give me a ride to the airport?"

my dad shot me a "this isn't over" look and stood up to leave with Bette. I shouted a good bye to her as I ran upstairs to my old room so I could start getting ready. We weren't supposed to meet till 9 but since my dad is taking Bette to the airport now I can just go meet her at her house now. I pick up my phone and look out the window while I dial her number; I want to be sure they're gone first.

Jamie: Hello?

Spencer: Hey baby

Jamie: hey you are we still good for tonight?

Spencer: Actually there has been a change of plans, my father just left to take B to the airport

Jamie: this early? Sure that's great dad and Silvia are already gone so you can come over now

Spencer: I'm already grabbing my car keys darling I'll be there soon

Jamie: ok hurry, I miss you…

As soon as I got off the phone with her I touched up my makeup then rushed down stairs and into my Scion Tc.

Bette and my dad were already long gone so I was clear to speed down the streets of L.A till I got to Davies manor. She was already out the door and by my side before I even cut the engine off.

"Hey, I missed you" she leaned down and kissed me before she opened the car door for me. God I haven't blushed this much since high school.

I get out the car and notice her attire for the first time, she's wearing loose basketball shorts and a tank top, her hair is up in a messy bun and she's wearing glasses. She looks so cute and laid back

"sweetie you look adorable but I thought we wear going out to eat?"

she answered as she walked me up the stairs and into the hall. "Yea but since its early I figured we could watch a movie and cuddle here then go out for dinner."

She looked at me with her puppy dog eyes and I had to say yes. Once we were settled upstairs in her bed she put on a cheesy romance movie and turned the volume really low.

"Jay I can't hear that put it up" she ignored me and jumped on the bed snuggling into my breast. "Nah I watched this movie before anyways, let's just talk."

I smirk at her and kiss her cheek, "ok gorgeous what do you want to talk about?"

she answers quickly as if she had this planned out, "you. Tell me about your life, you…your wife oh and your job, do you have kids? We spend so much time talking about my mother and the past I don't know who you are NOW"

I let everything she says sink in before I answer her. "Your right and you deserve to know about my life. Bette and I married young and have been together for 10 years, she works for a museum as an art consultant and I work for a television station back in Ohio. We adopted twin boys about five years ago, Marshall and Matthew."

I grabbed my purse and showed her pictures of them "aw they're so cute….you're going to have to leave soon, you have to go back to them."

When the words left her lips my heart dropped, because she's right. I need to go back to them soon, Bette has work and I hate leaving them with babysitters.

"You're right, I leave next week…but I don't want to be away from you." She sighed and put the picture down

"I know but let's talk about that when the time comes for now let's just enjoy our time together" she kisses me softly and we cuddle for the rest of the ridiculous movie.


	3. Authors Note

**Okay so honestly this story started out as a one shot and i'm not really sure where to go from here.**

** I'm thinking over some different versions of the story and wondering if i should end it quickly or keep going with it.**

**Comments and reviews are VERY welcome and i'll try to make my decision and post more soon**

**- Ashford**


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